wandring_dove

This is my second serious attempt at keeping a journal here with LJ. My first LJ, which will remain nameless, is an Early Adopter; there are a lot of good memories there that are precious to me.

However, there is a lot of baggage there as well. I learned the hard way, through that journal, how I need to keep a few steps of remove between myself and those that I can share myself with here. I won't say anonymity, because I have never had any qualms in sharing a great deal of myself in my journal as well as forging bonds with the people here that transcend LiveJournal. I simply came to the understanding that if I'm going to put my personal thoughts and feelings out there for the world, the last thing I want is someone from down the street knocking on my door to call me on it, to compare what they read with what they imagined they knew about me, in person.

That didn't come out quite right, but it's the best way I have to describe it for now.

I had kept that kind of distance - physical distance - for much of the time that I had the journal; it was only when I entered college, at the beginning of LJ's huge popularity, that everyone I knew and their sister's were making LJs, linking them to mine, being socially interconnected at another level. Networking! This wasn't a bad thing; I quite enjoyed it, really, especially so I could keep track of those people who I didn't see on a daily basis.

However, I no longer really felt safe opening myself up there, because the new influx of personal, local friends knew a particular side of me, which was safe for public consumption. The person I was here was more open, maybe even more honest about who I am, what I thought and believed, etc. etc.

I want that back. Is it a bad thing, to not share everything you are, every flavor of thought and belief, with the ones who are (geographically) closest to you... and yet have no qualms about doing so with people who you may never meet face to face?

So this is my remove. Will there, are there already, people from there that I want here? Absolutely! However... The veil of anonymity has returned, at least for the time being, in the way that I want no concrete ties between that journal and this one. There will also be filters on occasion, just for my emotional protection.